Defining your authentic-self: what authenticity is and how to embed it into your life

Defining your authentic-self:
​what authenticity is and how to embed it into your life

I will be discussing the term authentic-self regularly in my blogs, as this is a key element to my holistic life coaching style. So I thought it would be useful to you that I write this article to explain the term authentic-self in a little more detail. I’ll also be explaining the benefits of living an authentic life, what authentic-self isn’t, and how to embed your authentic-self into your life without it becoming detrimental to you, your social life or your career.

There are two types of self, authentic-self (who you are created to be by the experiences that made you) and false-self (who the world expects you to be). When we ask ourselves who are we? This is a hugely complicated question, which has been hypothesised by academics since Aristotle. To simplify this we could choose to answer by describing our job titles, position, status or our function. This is not who we are it’s what we do. This does not describe the essence of ourselves.
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Authentic-self
Simply put, the term authentic-self involves being your true self, the essence of who you are at your absolute core.  When you live a life that is authentic, you’re doing what you love for work or finding an outlet for it in your free-time. You feel free to express your true self in your actions, opinions, personality and emotions. The things that are uniquely you and need expression. You understand your limitations and you don’t feel threatened by letting others know this. In order to be your authentic-self requires great self-awareness.​

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​False-self
We sometimes find it easier to conform to the roles to that which our social groups expect of us, which neither suits nor fits with our core values. This is our false-selves. False-self suppress our ability to represent ourselves in a way that sits comfortably with our core values.

How you behave with your friends or partner may be different from how you are with your family or your hierarchy of work colleagues. This is fine it is acting socially appropriately.

Self-awareness
In order to know our authentic-self we first need to be self-aware. Self-awareness is a key element in emotional intelligence.  To become self-aware you must have a clear insight into your emotions, strengths, weaknesses, beliefs, motivations, likes and dislikes. Importantly a self-aware person will have a strong sense of what limits them, a sense of their own worth, they have humility and are open to constructive criticism from their peers. 
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10 benefits of living an authentic life
o   You are comfortable and relaxed with all people  - supports mental wellbeing
o   You are confident – reduces stress and anxiety and heightens self-esteem
o   You have a sense of value / self-worth - supports self-esteem and confidence
o   You rely on yourself for happiness and joy, not others - supports mental wellbeing
o   You have a deep level of understanding of your self – ability to control your feelings and actions

What authentic-self isn’t!
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1.  It’s not saying what you like without filters – It’s being considered, selective and appropriate.

2.  It’s not pushing your opinions on others - its being assertive, self-assured and saying what you want to say, and getting your point over to others in a respectful manner.
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3.  It’s not saying the first thing that comes into your head - It’s laying out mindful, well thought through well-balanced opinions and arguments.
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4. It’s not confronting – it’s confirming!​

Embedding authenticity into our day to day lives

At first you may think that it’s tricky being your true self in your daily life, and yes it probably will take courage sometimes, but in the long run you benefit because you are not suppressing who you really are at your core, which supports a balanced, healthy life.

To summarise. In order to embed your authentic-self, you are on a continual journey to;

o   Live the life you love, incorporating all things that you love in life
o   Be true and honest with yourself and others
o   Be assertive and respectful of others
o   Offer mindful, considered, well-balanced opinions and arguments
o   Maintain a sense of personal worth
o   Maintain a deep level of self-awareness

You have now learnt what is meant by the term authentic-self, what the benefits are, the characteristics of an authentic-self person, and benefits of being your authentic-self. Also how you can embed your authenticity into your life.

For your interest I will leave you with some Authentic living quotes.

I’d love to hear your thoughts and ideas for discovering your authentic-self, so please leave your comments after reading this article.

Discover your star potential!

Julia

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