​I am about to complete my training to be a world class Life Coach at The Pure Coaching Academy in London, and I am really excited to combine these new skills with my extensive experience in academic excellence, personal development and well-being. 

If you’re not sure how a life coach can support you and would like to know more, I invite you to consider these questions. If any of this sounds like you and you feel you are ready for a change, then I can help support you in overcoming these challenges and transforming your life for the better.

• Feeling stressed? Is the ticking clock conspiring against you?
• Debt spiralling out of control and dimming your dreams?
• Learning to study and write again, is so difficult?
• Burning the midnight oil, and still not getting the grades?
• Away from home - Homesickness – university just isn’t turning out the way you expected?
• Kids flown the nest? Feel now it's your time! Want to return to study, or something else? 
• Motivation? What motivation? I’m too tired!
• Everyone wants a piece of you, and there’s no time for your needs?
• Junk food and takeaways, no time to prepare healthy meals anymore?
• Struggling with weight loss, everything you’ve tried so far hasn’t worked?
• Life just doesn’t seem to offer you much joy these days?
• Bored with your current career, and want to re-train for a new one?
• Life is passing you by, and you want a piece of the action?
• You have a big, bold dream, but just don’t know where to begin? 

As a life coach who has been a returning university student, I completely understand the difficulties of learning to study again, dealing with the added workload and still trying to keep a million and one other balls in the air in your personal life. If you are considering retraining and returning to education, currently studying at college or university, or finishing university and not sure what’s the next step for you to take, then I’m here to support you in meeting those goals with excellence and ease.

I would therefore love you to accept my amazing gift of life coaching, at a hugely reduced price of £55 an hour. 

So if you feel you are ready to make some really positive changes to your life, and discover your star potential, then direct message me on Facebook or visit my contact page. We can then arrange a complimentary 30 minute coaching session, either by phone, Skype or Zoom to see how life coaching can help you re-launch your lust for life, supercharge your success, and make 2018 the best year of your life to date.

Julia Bloxham

Asteria Life Coaching
www.asterialifecoaching.co.uk
07752565740
Twitter : @AsterialifeC
Instagram
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This blog is a guide on to how to choose a life coach that’s right for you. It explains what a life coach is and what they do, what they are not and questions you may want to consider before you hire a life coach.
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Choosing anything in life can be tricky. When we are buying an expensive purchase such as a car or a holiday we can spend considerable time researching and going over the options in our head.  If we need a new hairdresser or dentist we tend not to rush into the first place we see. If we’re planning a celebratory dinner somewhere new we won’t just pick a place out at random. We consider the options available to us, get recommendations from friends or read reviews.  Choosing a life coach also requires some research and consideration.

Primarily life coaches are engaged with the here and now, moving you from where you currently are, to where you want to be. They work with high achievers and people who want to improve aspects of their professional or personal life. A life coach empowers their clients using a framework to identify and overcome their obstacles, enabling their clients to live a better, richer life that meets either their personal or professional goals or both.  Life Coaching is for those who feel their life isn’t where they want it to be and they feel they haven’t the tools, know-how or confidence to make those changes.

A life coach can help you with one or multiple goals that you want to achieve. These can range from your career or work projects, through to your lifestyle, emotional states, relationships and personal development. For example, you could need help getting motivated, fitting in time to have more fun, money management. Or personal wellbeing, stress management, assertiveness and confidence building, or time management.
A life coach should never tell you what to do, but use specific questioning techniques and models, that bring structure in order for you to make decisions for yourself. A life coach empowers and motivates you by equipping you with the tools to allow you to overcome personally challenging situations.

What a life coach isn’t
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A life coach is not an agony aunt or your new BFF, therapist or psychotherapist or counsellor. A life coach is not your superior, but is an equal. They do not diagnose or determine a mental health issue, nor do they give you medical advice or prescribe you medicine. If issues relating to any diagnosed mental health issues transpire in the coaching conversation, a life coach will request that the client seeks medical advice from a medical professional. Having said this clients living with mild depression can benefit significantly from the coaching relationship.

​Employing a life coach can be one of the most rewarding investments in your life. There are many types of life coaches for you to choose from, these include business coaches, executive coaches, career coaches, holistic coaches, health & wellness coaches and sports coaches.

Before you consider which life coach is best or whether you need one, I would firstly encourage you to consider Are you ready for the coaching relationship? This is absolutely crucial to achieving successful outcomes. Are you ready to put the effort in and commit to making those changes? Life coaches are not able to help you if you’re not prepared to help yourself by being fully committed!
So you’ve decided you want to hire a life coach, consider these points.

1.  Be clear what you want a life coach you need and what you’d like to achieve from the coaching relationship. This could be something as specific as how to deal with a difficult boss or more general such as wanting a career change but have no idea what it is you want to do. Once you have decided this it will narrow your choices down a little. Most life coaches specialise in specific areas.
 
2.  Talk to your potential life coach. Most offer a free consultation over the phone and they should do, it’s not just you choosing a life coach, the life coach needs to be sure they are the right person to help you.
 
Before you speak to a coach write down your questions so you can be clear what you want from them.

• Have a list of other practical questions you need answered, such as the prices, how far in advance you need to book or how and where the sessions will take place.
• Your gut instinct will play a good part in this process too. You’ll get a feeling about whether you like them or not, do they sound professional, are they listening to what you are saying, are they focused on your conversation, do they ask you questions?
• Do you feel that you have the right chemistry together, can trust them and do they sounds like they have your best interests at heart? You will also need to be open and honest as well. During the conversation do they make you feel reassured and relieved that you’ve contacted them? Or are they more interested in getting you to pay up for a course of sessions.  Trust your instincts, even if your best friend has recommended this person it doesn’t mean you’ll click or gel with them too.

3.  How much are you willing to invest? Not just financially, but in terms of time. Have a budget worked out and an idea of how much time you want to spend with your coach.  Remember a high price doesn’t always guarantee quality. Choosing a life coach that has a long list of coaching qualifications or rated at the top of the Google rankings is not necessarily going to guarantee you success or a great coaching relationship.

4.  Avoid being pressured into paying for 100 hours in advance because they think you ‘need it’. Of course your life coach will be able to make recommendations, but avoid someone who is trying to strong arm you into committing too much, especially before they’ve met you and evaluated your needs.
 
5.  They won’t necessarily have to have had the same experiences as you. It is often better if they haven’t. If you are looking for career guidance choosing someone with a background within your current industry may mean they may not be able to think outside that box and will have preconceived notions about what you are going through or accept a status quo. The principles a life coaches uses should be relatable to you as an individual and not already have bias and see the same constraints you do.
 
6.  A good life coach make won’t make wild promises to you, nor will they be vague. They should help you to create a clear plan of action. After your first session you should have established goals, both short term and long term.

A great life coach is an important decision to make. Use this guide to help you find the right coach for you and your life. Remember to use the points mentioned above to find the right coach to support you. After all it’s your life, so make it a full, happy and rewarding one.

To learn more about making a decision about starting life coaching read my blog on Committing to Life Coaching
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I wish you all the best in discovering YOUR star potential.      
Julia

​How do you know if you are ready for a coaching relationship? Do you have the drive and commitment required to achieve your goals? Are you really looking to make changes?  Do you have a clear idea of what you want to achieve in life? This blog answers these questions. You will find sections concerned with WILL and PURPOSE to help you discover whether hiring a life coach is the most appropriate course of action for you to take.

Will

With the best will in the world a life coach is not a miracle worker. We do require certain qualities in our client’s mind-set for us to be able to work our magic. All you need to do is answer YES or NO to the statements below.

1.  There are areas in my life where I want to make a make positive change
2.  I am ready to trying new experiences, ideas and ways of thinking
3.  I am ready to let go of beliefs that hold me back
4.  I am ready to have honest and open conversations, even when they are challenging
5.  I am committed to putting in the time to make that change happen, even when it gets tough
6.  I am committed to keeping my promises
7.  I am ready to let go of beliefs that hold me back
8.  I have the support I need to make any significant changes
9.  I am mentally/emotionally stable to be in a coaching relationship and do not require medical treatment or therapy from a professional
10. I am able to take full responsibility for my own life and the decisions I make

If you have answered NO to a couple of these statements, then it might not be the right time for you to experience the coaching relationship just yet. If you are prepared to make adjustments to the NO statements, life coaching could still be the right choice for YOU!

​If you answered YES to all the statements then that’s great! You are well on your way to getting the most out of the coaching relationship. 

Purpose

Are there any aspects of your life or career that you feel could be improved upon?  Are you living an OK or it’ll do for now life? Do you have aspirations of living a life that is truly fulfilling, purposeful, meaningful and rewarding to YOU? 
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The next 7 questions identify if you have the ‘Purpose’ for a successful coaching relationship. They may be more difficult to answer. The reason I say this is because unless you know your authentic-self the answers to some of these questions require investigation, so I’ve included some examples to help you figure this out.

1/ What type of life do I want to live?
Think about the type of career you’d love to have, or places you’d love to travel to. You could have too little time on your hands and want to live a life that is more balanced. Perhaps you’d like to fit in more exercise. Maybe you’d like to be able to talk to people with confidence and ease, or have a wider circle of friends. Are you artistic or creative and want a life that nurtures your talents with your lifestyle and career ambitions.  Or that business idea you’ve been promising to get off the ground, but you have no idea where to start.

2/ What does success look like to you?
It’s important to have a clear vision of what success is for you, so that you can visualise what achieving the goal will look like to you once you’ve accomplished it. So imagine for a moment that you’ve planned out the type of life you want for yourself.  What will you be doing? Where and how would you be living? What are the sights and sounds around you? If it’s a business venture what sort of income do you expect from it? If you want to have a more balanced life, how much of your day, week or month will change? What percentage of your time will be free-time and work time? What would you do with more free-time? How will this make you feel to achieve this and how will this change and enhance your life?

3/ What do you want to achieve?
Perhaps you’d like to lose weight for that holiday of a lifetime or just feel fitter and healthier in general. Maybe your life is too stressful and you want to simplify it. Do you have specific goals in mind that would support you to create the life you dream of living? It doesn’t matter if your goals are big or small, or that they are long term or short term goals. If you need someone to support you to achieving those goals then a life coach can help you get there.

4/ Do you need support?
It can be extremely difficult trying to achieve a goal without the support or encouragement of another fellow human being. A life coach could be the strength you need to help get you focused and move from you where you are now to where you want to be quicker than you can do it on your own. They are your motivator and champion, encouraging you to pass the finish line. There is no one more proud of you (with the exception of yourself) than your life coach when you achieve the goal or dream you set out to achieve. So if you don’t feel you have that support, but you are highly motivated to make changes, hiring a life coach might be the perfect solution.

5/ How much time and money are you willing to invest to achieve this?
Is this something that will take up much of your time? What length of time do you have in mind to complete these goals? Having an idea of the time you are prepared to invest to achieve the goal will give you an indication of how long it will take and discover if it’s realistic or not. This will also identify how many hours coaching you will need and a clue of how much it will cost you financially.

6/ Am I ready to take action now?
So what are you waiting for? If not now when and why? How long are you prepared to wait for that perfect sometime? You know what they say about tomorrow – it never comes! This is an old English proverb that warns of procrastination. What you are really saying to yourself is “I’m not ready yet!” This could be for several reasons; you don’t have the confidence, you don’t know enough, you don’t want to take the risk. You’re scared that you might fail.  

Let me reassure you these mental scaremongers that buzz around everyone’s brains can all be resolved in the coaching relationship when you find the right coach for you. It’s ok if you are content with what you already have, just avoid looking back in years to come and saying, “Life could have been so different if only I’d have done…” or “Why did I never get round to doing…?” “Why am I still doing this job I really don’t enjoy anymore?”

7/ What type coach would be best to help me with this?
Employing a coach can be one of the most rewarding investments in your life. There are many types of coaches for you to choose from, these include business coaches, executive coaches, career coaches, holistic coaches, health & wellness coaches, personal life coaches, sports coaches and niche coaches. They may also employ very structured methods of goal setting or can be more intuitive to delivering a more authentic, holistic and customised coaching relationship. It’s really up to you to decide what works best for you.

I hope you enjoyed reading this article and it’s cleared up any thoughts you might be having, as to whether you have the will and purpose and ready to enter into a productive and rewarding coaching relationship.
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I wish you all the best in discovering YOUR star potential!

If you have the time I would love to hear your feedback from this week’s ‘Julia’s Journal’ article.

You can also follow me on Twitter​

I will be discussing the term authentic-self regularly in my blogs, as this is a key element to my holistic life coaching style. So I thought it would be useful to you that I write this article to explain the term authentic-self in a little more detail. I’ll also be explaining the benefits of living an authentic life, what authentic-self isn’t, and how to embed your authentic-self into your life without it becoming detrimental to you, your social life or your career.

There are two types of self, authentic-self (who you are created to be by the experiences that made you) and false-self (who the world expects you to be). When we ask ourselves who are we? This is a hugely complicated question, which has been hypothesised by academics since Aristotle. To simplify this we could choose to answer by describing our job titles, position, status or our function. This is not who we are it’s what we do. This does not describe the essence of ourselves.
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Authentic-self
Simply put, the term authentic-self involves being your true self, the essence of who you are at your absolute core.  When you live a life that is authentic, you’re doing what you love for work or finding an outlet for it in your free-time. You feel free to express your true self in your actions, opinions, personality and emotions. The things that are uniquely you and need expression. You understand your limitations and you don’t feel threatened by letting others know this. In order to be your authentic-self requires great self-awareness.​

​False-self
We sometimes find it easier to conform to the roles to that which our social groups expect of us, which neither suits nor fits with our core values. This is our false-selves. False-self suppress our ability to represent ourselves in a way that sits comfortably with our core values.

How you behave with your friends or partner may be different from how you are with your family or your hierarchy of work colleagues. This is fine it is acting socially appropriately.

Self-awareness
In order to know our authentic-self we first need to be self-aware. Self-awareness is a key element in emotional intelligence.  To become self-aware you must have a clear insight into your emotions, strengths, weaknesses, beliefs, motivations, likes and dislikes. Importantly a self-aware person will have a strong sense of what limits them, a sense of their own worth, they have humility and are open to constructive criticism from their peers. 
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10 benefits of living an authentic life
o   You are comfortable and relaxed with all people  - supports mental wellbeing
o   You are confident – reduces stress and anxiety and heightens self-esteem
o   You have a sense of value / self-worth - supports self-esteem and confidence
o   You rely on yourself for happiness and joy, not others - supports mental wellbeing
o   You have a deep level of understanding of your self – ability to control your feelings and actions

At first you may think that it’s tricky being your true self in your daily life, and yes it probably will take courage sometimes, but in the long run you benefit because you are not suppressing who you really are at your core, which supports a balanced, healthy life.

To summarise. In order to embed your authentic-self, you are on a continual journey to;

o   Live the life you love, incorporating all things that you love in life
o   Be true and honest with yourself and others
o   Be assertive and respectful of others
o   Offer mindful, considered, well-balanced opinions and arguments
o   Maintain a sense of personal worth
o   Maintain a deep level of self-awareness

You have now learnt what is meant by the term authentic-self, what the benefits are, the characteristics of an authentic-self person, and benefits of being your authentic-self. Also how you can embed your authenticity into your life.

For your interest I will leave you with some Authentic living quotes.

I’d love to hear your thoughts and ideas for discovering your authentic-self, so please leave your comments after reading this article.

Discover your star potential!

Julia