In this world of excess and full-on action living it’s easy for your wardrobe to suffer a little neglect and gain a few extra pounds. This blog will explain the science behind dress; how it can affect your confidence and self-esteem. I will also give you ten  tips to reduce your wardrobe and reveal your authentic-self, giving you the opportunity to discover your star potential!

Is your wardrobe heaving with clothes and shoes from nearly every decade, many not seeing the light of day in years? Or do its rails groan with garments either too ill-fitting, out of date, or just not you anymore? Then please read on.
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I encourage you to ‘Set them free!’ Let them go and live the life that their designers and manufacturers intended. This will leave you free to have a clothes collection that projects who you are and the life you’re choosing for yourself.   

For many of us fashion is our identity. It says something about us. It portrays an image we want our social groups to recognise in us.  Fashion is emotional and has a psychological effect on us. A 2012 Vogue article discussed a study into ‘Confidence dressing: how clothing affects the mind’. The article explains the chemical reaction in the brain when we dress ourselves in certain garments. It claims your brain alters its thinking by the clothes that you wear.

Another study published by Professor Pine (2014) that compliments this theory explains that our dress can have a significant effect on our self-esteem and confidence. These studies highlight how our clothes aren’t just social armour, but they can actually makes us believe that we’re not just what we wear, we can actually become what we wear.
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Think about this, if clothes can make us feel empowered and liberated then it can also have an adverse effect when we hang on to clothes that don’t project the person we are or want to be, thus working against us, decreasing self-esteem, confidence and self-belief in ourselves. It could also be holding you back professionally!

To reveal your authentic-self cast off those mixed messages you’re possibly sending out to the world, and find the right weight plan for your wardrobe.

I’ve put together 10 top tips that I urge you to try to get you back on track to having a wardrobe that screams out to you and everyone who marvels at it, “Here I am, in all my glorious, wonderful self”.

I know it might feel daunting and there’s that emotional attachment we have to some of our clothes, but ask yourself ‘What’s not to gain by condensing your wardrobe?’ Yes you are going to have to let go of clothes, but only after asking yourself some key questions.

Tip 1 – Phone a friend - If this does seem a daunting, even traumatic task, then seek assistance, don’t do it alone. I encourage you to invite your partner or a trusted friend that knows you well to come and give you support. Whoever you choose, if anyone at all, ensure they are sincere, honest, caring and know you and your likes and dislikes very well. It’s important to add at this point that you feel comfortable and relaxed around them, taking any remarks they may have into consideration when making your decision, and that they understand your decision is final!

Tip 2 – Get a full length mirror – A must!  If you don’t know what you look like in the clothes it makes the whole decision-making process much more difficult. The mirror comes into its own particularly when you mix and match your clothes and accessories.

Tip 3 - Questions - ‘Retain or remove?’
Many of the questions you may recognise are from my previous blog ‘What your bookshelf reveals about you’, although the questions you ask yourself have been edited to suit the subject matter.
For example;

o   Does this bring me pleasure and is it still fun to wear?
o   Does it fit well on me and do the colours suit me?
o   Do I feel good wearing it?
o   Will I really where it again, and if so to what occasion or mood would it work best for me?
o   Is there another similar one I already have that’s better?
o   Could I co-ordinate this with other items I’ve decided must remain?
o   Can I bear to part with it? If not, why not?
o   Is it a true representation or reflection of who I am?
o   Would others benefit more from it than me?

Tip 4 – Select items for all occasions - Think about the type of clothes you need to wear. This is where you can really have some fun. My friend Anna was at a women’s business convention and the guest speaker had earlier noticed her cheerful patterned shoes. During the guest speaker’s speech, she invited everyone to see how beautiful they were. Anna said “It was lovely receiving so many compliments, and the real bonus, I made some great connections”. So don’t be afraid to incorporate your authentic-self. It can really help generate admiration, build confidence and self-esteem, and in Anna’s case increase network connections. So don’t be beige, be bold!
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Tip 5 – Alleviate the pain of letting go – So, you’ve overcome the pain barrier by deciding to remove them from your life, but you want to make sure they go to a good home. They say charity begins at home, so why not look to your family and friends and see if they’re interested in them. You could make some cash and sell them on one of the many auction sites or donate them to a charity shop or charity vintage outlets. Whatever you do, once the decision is made don’t be tempted to pick away at the bags destined for removal. Take them well away from your daily life and pass them on at the earliest opportunity.

Tip 6 – Organise by occasion – By doing this you know how many outfits you have for all the different occasions and events that are part of your lifestyle. You could also organise them by type of garment colours. This will allow you to assess, what, if anything is missing.

Tip 7 – What’s missing? So now you’re in the position to evaluate what you have and whether you need anything else. Be aware, this should not give you carte blanche to purchase any unnecessary additional requisitions to your wardrobe, nor impulse buy. Try to think with your head not with your heart. This is your opportunity to start reviewing the authentic you and seeing if there’s something you need that completes your authentic-self collection.

​Tip 8 – Select desirable coat hangers – The coat hangers that your garments hang on are all part of the representation of your authentic-self. Why put up with those wire or shop styled hangers that say nothing about you? If you can invest in some luxury clothes hangers they’ll be better for your clothes and give you a sense of pride and self-worth.
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Tip 9 – Regularly assess your wardrobes authenticity – As we move on with our lives, experiencing everything life has to offer, we adapt and evolve. Our personal style may change, our careers may develop or take a completely different path. To keep our wardrobe’s authenticity I suggest you review every 6-12 months.

Tip 10 – Prepare what to wear – To save you time in the morning spend a couple of minutes selecting the outfit you choose to wear the next day. It will save you time when you’re in a rush and give you more time to think what works best for you.

Another thought, if you have the energy left, apply the same ‘Retain or Remove’ strategy with your jewellery box, shoe collection or other accessories such as scarves and belts.

Now you know the impact of what you wear and how it can affect your confidence and self-esteem. You also have some handy tips to condense your wardrobe and reveal your authentic-self!
Have fun, remain authentic, and enjoy discovering your star potential.

Julia

If you have the time I would love to hear your feedback from this week’s journal article. Comment below!

Do you fight with the thoughts of self-doubt and lack the confidence to move on with your life? Do you say to yourself “How can I take action to eliminate negative feelings?” “How can I get back to feeling confident and start living the life I dream of?”

This blog explains why you feel this way and offers 12 ways to claim back your confidence and self-esteem, banishing negativity and self-doubt once and for all.

We all ask these questions of ourselves from time to time. When you are feeling stressed, insecure and vulnerable and your confidence and self-esteem are at a low, it’s important to take some positive action to manage negativity.

​These feelings are a complicated affair as they stem from many reference points. Psychotherapist Suzanne Lachmann, Psy.D, cites 10 sources for low self-esteem which can be deeply embedded in our conscious minds. These experiences can bring about powerful negative thoughts as the mind seeks out evidence to prove these thoughts to be true, seriously impairing our belief that we can achieve our personal goals.

Daniel G. Amen MD helps us to understand why our brains default to Automatic Negative Thoughts or ANT’s.  Without going into too much detail, ANT’s occur when the Limbic System, where our emotions related to our instincts and memories are thought to be controlled from, becomes overactive, and induce negative thought responses. It’s the brains primitive natural response or defence mechanism when we feel threatened.

While this defence mechanism was once a life saver in our modern day existence it’s often detrimental to our mental health and ability to be self-actualised people, that’s living life to one's full potential.   

A key step, is to reset your brain’s default from negative to positive mental behaviours. Employing a Life Coach is also a great way to keeping you motivated and achieving personal goals that you want to achieve.
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Here are my top 12 tips I’ve put together to improve your mental health and grow in confidence.


1.  Positive thinking
Identify negative thoughts and replace them with positive thoughts.  For example when bad things happen, think what lessons you have learnt from that experience. Try to think of one thing that you can take away from a bad experience and see a way of turning it into positive thinking. For example learning from a mistake or seeing that painful experience has taught you empathy for people who have experienced this.

2.  Set yourself challenges
Start with small challenges that are relatively easy to achieve. Perhaps a personal development goal, fitness, something that makes you feel proud of yourself for achieving. As your confidence grows you take on more challenging goals which require a greater level of confidence to achieve, thus slowly restores your self-esteem.

3.  Practice forgiveness
Don’t let past hurts eat you up inside. Let it go, show compassion and forgive them (or yourself), allowing you to focus on what’s important in the here and now and in your future.

4.  Acknowledge your gratitude
Acknowledge what you’ve got that’s good in your life and show gratitude for it, don’t take them for granted. There’s always someone worse off than you. Write  down 5 things you’re grateful for. This promotes good mental health, as well as an overall sense of wellbeing and happiness.

5.  Helping others
When you can see that others need your help, support them if they need help, not to the point it hurts you to do so or you become intrusive. The act of giving is a powerful thing, leaving you with a sense of raised self-esteem, social connection and happiness.

6.  Spend more time with morale boosters
These are the people that make you feel good about yourself. Spend time with a positive friend or someone who always makes you laugh. Try to dodge the negative sponges who drain you of your energy and happiness; the moaners, pessimists, the glass is half empty type people.

7.  Avoid playing the victim
​Playing the victim and playing the blame game feeds negativity. Remember this is your life to live, so take responsibility for it. It will empower you all the more and your self-esteem and confidence will be boundless.​

​8.  Practice mindfulness and meditation
Mindfulness exercises and meditation are a great way of calming the mind and reducing anxiety. Practising these regularly will restore your self-awareness by being present in the moment.

​9.  Eating a nutritional, healthy, balanced diet
What you eat really can relieve you of negative thoughts and offer clear benefits to our mental wellbeing. Although research is in its infancy, there’s mounting evidence which suggests what we eat affects the function of our brains. See this article published by Community Food and Health (Scotland), ‘Food, mental health and wellbeing’. A word of advice though, speak to your GP before making any changes to your diet.

10.  A regular exercise regime
I can vouch for this claim for its powers in suppressing negative thinking. Regular exercise hugely supports a positive frame of mind. The NHS urges that we should ‘Get active for mental well-being’.

11.   Reconnect with nature
Experience the outdoors. Take a walk in the woods or a place that makes you feel joy, happiness and fully alive. Immerse yourself in the environment. I like to walk with my dog around the local park near Twickenham in West London or go for a ramble around Richmond Park.
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12.   Earthing yourself
This is the simple act of connecting our bare feet or body to the earth, ideally on a daily basis for around 15 minutes a day. If you want to learn more about earthing I urge you to read the book by Ober, Sinatra and Zucker (2010) Earthing: the most important discovery ever? I’ll also be writing an article about this in one of my future blogs, as well as other life coaching tips, so keep an eye out on my page ‘Julia’s Journal’.
 
You now understand the sources of low self-esteem and confidence, why they occur and some great tips of how to improve your self-esteem and confidence, allowing you the freedom of mind to live the life that enables you to reach your star potential.

I’d love to hear your thoughts and ideas for beating the blues, so please leave your comments after reading this.
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Julia