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Julia's Journal​

Discover your authentic-self in one day! : Part 2 Learn how your wardrobe can reveal the real you!

5/27/2017

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Discover your authentic-self in one day! :
​Part 2
Learn how your wardrobe can reveal the real you!

In this world of excess and full-on action living it’s easy for your wardrobe to suffer a little neglect and gain a few extra pounds. This blog will explain the science behind dress; how it can affect your confidence and self-esteem. I will also give you ten  tips to reduce your wardrobe and reveal your authentic-self, giving you the opportunity to discover your star potential!

Is your wardrobe heaving with clothes and shoes from nearly every decade, many not seeing the light of day in years? Or do its rails groan with garments either too ill-fitting, out of date, or just not you anymore? Then please read on.
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I encourage you to ‘Set them free!’ Let them go and live the life that their designers and manufacturers intended. This will leave you free to have a clothes collection that projects who you are and the life you’re choosing for yourself.   
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Dress to Impress

For many of us fashion is our identity. It says something about us. It portrays an image we want our social groups to recognise in us.  Fashion is emotional and has a psychological effect on us. A 2012 Vogue article discussed a study into ‘Confidence dressing: how clothing affects the mind’. The article explains the chemical reaction in the brain when we dress ourselves in certain garments. It claims your brain alters its thinking by the clothes that you wear.

Another study published by Professor Pine (2014) that compliments this theory explains that our dress can have a significant effect on our self-esteem and confidence. These studies highlight how our clothes aren’t just social armour, but they can actually makes us believe that we’re not just what we wear, we can actually become what we wear.
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Think about this, if clothes can make us feel empowered and liberated then it can also have an adverse effect when we hang on to clothes that don’t project the person we are or want to be, thus working against us, decreasing self-esteem, confidence and self-belief in ourselves. It could also be holding you back professionally!

10 tips to reveal your authentic-self wardrobe

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To reveal your authentic-self cast off those mixed messages you’re possibly sending out to the world, and find the right weight plan for your wardrobe.

I’ve put together 10 top tips that I urge you to try to get you back on track to having a wardrobe that screams out to you and everyone who marvels at it, “Here I am, in all my glorious, wonderful self”.

I know it might feel daunting and there’s that emotional attachment we have to some of our clothes, but ask yourself ‘What’s not to gain by condensing your wardrobe?’ Yes you are going to have to let go of clothes, but only after asking yourself some key questions.

Tip 1 – Phone a friend - If this does seem a daunting, even traumatic task, then seek assistance, don’t do it alone. I encourage you to invite your partner or a trusted friend that knows you well to come and give you support. Whoever you choose, if anyone at all, ensure they are sincere, honest, caring and know you and your likes and dislikes very well. It’s important to add at this point that you feel comfortable and relaxed around them, taking any remarks they may have into consideration when making your decision, and that they understand your decision is final!

Tip 2 – Get a full length mirror – A must!  If you don’t know what you look like in the clothes it makes the whole decision-making process much more difficult. The mirror comes into its own particularly when you mix and match your clothes and accessories.

Tip 3 - Questions - ‘Retain or remove?’
Many of the questions you may recognise are from my previous blog ‘What your bookshelf reveals about you’, although the questions you ask yourself have been edited to suit the subject matter.
For example;

o   Does this bring me pleasure and is it still fun to wear?
o   Does it fit well on me and do the colours suit me?
o   Do I feel good wearing it?
o   Will I really where it again, and if so to what occasion or mood would it work best for me?
o   Is there another similar one I already have that’s better?
o   Could I co-ordinate this with other items I’ve decided must remain?
o   Can I bear to part with it? If not, why not?
o   Is it a true representation or reflection of who I am?
o   Would others benefit more from it than me?

Tip 4 – Select items for all occasions - Think about the type of clothes you need to wear. This is where you can really have some fun. My friend Anna was at a women’s business convention and the guest speaker had earlier noticed her cheerful patterned shoes. During the guest speaker’s speech, she invited everyone to see how beautiful they were. Anna said “It was lovely receiving so many compliments, and the real bonus, I made some great connections”. So don’t be afraid to incorporate your authentic-self. It can really help generate admiration, build confidence and self-esteem, and in Anna’s case increase network connections. So don’t be beige, be bold!
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Tip 5 – Alleviate the pain of letting go – So, you’ve overcome the pain barrier by deciding to remove them from your life, but you want to make sure they go to a good home. They say charity begins at home, so why not look to your family and friends and see if they’re interested in them. You could make some cash and sell them on one of the many auction sites or donate them to a charity shop or charity vintage outlets. Whatever you do, once the decision is made don’t be tempted to pick away at the bags destined for removal. Take them well away from your daily life and pass them on at the earliest opportunity.

Tip 6 – Organise by occasion – By doing this you know how many outfits you have for all the different occasions and events that are part of your lifestyle. You could also organise them by type of garment colours. This will allow you to assess, what, if anything is missing.

Tip 7 – What’s missing? So now you’re in the position to evaluate what you have and whether you need anything else. Be aware, this should not give you carte blanche to purchase any unnecessary additional requisitions to your wardrobe, nor impulse buy. Try to think with your head not with your heart. This is your opportunity to start reviewing the authentic you and seeing if there’s something you need that completes your authentic-self collection.

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​Tip 8 – Select desirable coat hangers – The coat hangers that your garments hang on are all part of the representation of your authentic-self. Why put up with those wire or shop styled hangers that say nothing about you? If you can invest in some luxury clothes hangers they’ll be better for your clothes and give you a sense of pride and self-worth.
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Tip 9 – Regularly assess your wardrobes authenticity – As we move on with our lives, experiencing everything life has to offer, we adapt and evolve. Our personal style may change, our careers may develop or take a completely different path. To keep our wardrobe’s authenticity I suggest you review every 6-12 months.

Tip 10 – Prepare what to wear – To save you time in the morning spend a couple of minutes selecting the outfit you choose to wear the next day. It will save you time when you’re in a rush and give you more time to think what works best for you.

Another thought, if you have the energy left, apply the same ‘Retain or Remove’ strategy with your jewellery box, shoe collection or other accessories such as scarves and belts.

Now you know the impact of what you wear and how it can affect your confidence and self-esteem. You also have some handy tips to condense your wardrobe and reveal your authentic-self!
Have fun, remain authentic, and enjoy discovering your star potential.

Julia

If you have the time I would love to hear your feedback from this week’s journal article. Comment below!

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Defining your authentic-self: what authenticity is and how to embed it into your life

5/19/2017

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Defining your authentic-self:
​what authenticity is and how to embed it into your life

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I will be discussing the term authentic-self regularly in my blogs, as this is a key element to my holistic life coaching style. So I thought it would be useful to you that I write this article to explain the term authentic-self in a little more detail. I’ll also be explaining the benefits of living an authentic life, what authentic-self isn’t, and how to embed your authentic-self into your life without it becoming detrimental to you, your social life or your career.

There are two types of self, authentic-self (who you are created to be by the experiences that made you) and false-self (who the world expects you to be). When we ask ourselves who are we? This is a hugely complicated question, which has been hypothesised by academics since Aristotle. To simplify this we could choose to answer by describing our job titles, position, status or our function. This is not who we are it’s what we do. This does not describe the essence of ourselves.
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Authentic-self
Simply put, the term authentic-self involves being your true self, the essence of who you are at your absolute core.  When you live a life that is authentic, you’re doing what you love for work or finding an outlet for it in your free-time. You feel free to express your true self in your actions, opinions, personality and emotions. The things that are uniquely you and need expression. You understand your limitations and you don’t feel threatened by letting others know this. In order to be your authentic-self requires great self-awareness.​

​False-self
We sometimes find it easier to conform to the roles to that which our social groups expect of us, which neither suits nor fits with our core values. This is our false-selves. False-self suppress our ability to represent ourselves in a way that sits comfortably with our core values.

How you behave with your friends or partner may be different from how you are with your family or your hierarchy of work colleagues. This is fine it is acting socially appropriately.

Self-awareness
In order to know our authentic-self we first need to be self-aware. Self-awareness is a key element in emotional intelligence.  To become self-aware you must have a clear insight into your emotions, strengths, weaknesses, beliefs, motivations, likes and dislikes. Importantly a self-aware person will have a strong sense of what limits them, a sense of their own worth, they have humility and are open to constructive criticism from their peers. 
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10 benefits of living an authentic life
o   You are comfortable and relaxed with all people  - supports mental wellbeing
o   You are confident – reduces stress and anxiety and heightens self-esteem
o   You have a sense of value / self-worth - supports self-esteem and confidence
o   You rely on yourself for happiness and joy, not others - supports mental wellbeing
o   You have a deep level of understanding of your self – ability to control your feelings and actions
What authentic-self isn’t!
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1.  It’s not saying what you like without filters – It’s being considered, selective and appropriate.

2.  It’s not pushing your opinions on others - its being assertive, self-assured and saying what you want to say, and getting your point over to others in a respectful manner.
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3.  It’s not saying the first thing that comes into your head - It’s laying out mindful, well thought through well-balanced opinions and arguments.
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4. It’s not confronting – it’s confirming!​
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Embedding authenticity into our day to day lives

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At first you may think that it’s tricky being your true self in your daily life, and yes it probably will take courage sometimes, but in the long run you benefit because you are not suppressing who you really are at your core, which supports a balanced, healthy life.

To summarise. In order to embed your authentic-self, you are on a continual journey to;

o   Live the life you love, incorporating all things that you love in life
o   Be true and honest with yourself and others
o   Be assertive and respectful of others
o   Offer mindful, considered, well-balanced opinions and arguments
o   Maintain a sense of personal worth
o   Maintain a deep level of self-awareness

You have now learnt what is meant by the term authentic-self, what the benefits are, the characteristics of an authentic-self person, and benefits of being your authentic-self. Also how you can embed your authenticity into your life.

For your interest I will leave you with some Authentic living quotes.

I’d love to hear your thoughts and ideas for discovering your authentic-self, so please leave your comments after reading this article.

Discover your star potential!

Julia



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