Living in peace with the unknown and uncertainty
If you could only live an unpredictable life filled with uncertainty how would you instinctively feel? Does it bring excitement and wonder? Do you think of the endless possibilities and opportunities there would be for creativity and learning? Or does it make you feel uncomfortable, or even conjures up automatic thoughts of fear and anxiety?
If you think the latter is more your current lean to thinking, then this article is a MUST READ for you. In it you will discover the advantages to living with the unknown, how to find peace with living in the present and why you need to let go of continually trying to control your future.
Most of us go to great efforts to bring control into our lives. We can’t bear the thought of living with unpredictable futures. We spend much of our time reliving past hurts and working out the possible outcomes of our future. We avoid even the thought of experiencing any possible pain, suffering or loss that uncertainty may bring.
The disadvantages to living a life of control
When we try to control every element of our lives, life becomes;
• Unimaginative and uncreative
• Fear filled and cautionary
• Stressful and negative
• Ordinary and non-progressive
Here’s some examples of how we limit our lives because of fear of the unknown;
Missing out on an amazing adventure holiday abroad for fear of contracting some disease, or being unfamiliar with the country and not being able to predict what may or may not happen there.
Staying in a job that you really can’t stand, because it pays well and if you can stay there long enough you should get a comfortable pension.
Putting off returning to study for fear of failure and wasting your time and money.
Why we feel the need for control and avoid the unknown
In order to let go of control we need to understand why we feel the need to control our lives. Largely this is born out of fear of change or loss. When change happens, feelings of vulnerability and uncertainty often follows. We then feel we are risking our security and comfort. Negative self-talk kicks in telling us we are likely to experience something that could cause us pain. So the question we should be asking ourselves here is, how do we get used to coping with change? How do we make change comfortable, and not painful to live with, so we no longer fear it, and learn to accept it?
Newsflash! Change is inevitable! When we live in our comfort zone, risk and pain is still a probability. The problem is that if we don’t learn to experience it and get comfortable with it, we are far less resilient to change when its forced upon us, which makes for a more painful transition back into our comfort zone.
Living with uncertainty
The best option we have to protect our self from pain is to learn to live with change and uncertainty. When we choose to live a little more with the unknown and stop trying to control every last little outcome, that’s when the pain and negativity dissolves and the magic happens! We allow ourselves to experience life in the present. We become more aware, creative and imaginative, more courageous, adventurous, alive and open to new experiences. We feel excitement and anticipation for the limitless possibilities and outcomes it may bring. We feel an excited anticipation for the future. Life becomes more fulfilling and rewarding. Old self-sabotaging habits diminish, and we replace them with new, more optimistic habits.
The advantages of living with the unknown
• Opportunities to learn
• Limitless possibilities
• Challenge and achievement
• Wealth and reward
Start getting comfortable with change and uncertainty
I’ve put together some tips that you could try in order to bring a little change and uncertainty into your life, so that you can start to get comfortable with the unknown, and start living a more rewarding and extraordinary life.
Try something you’ve never done before – something small, that’s still safe to you, but at the same time brings you out of your comfort zone. Perhaps painting, deep sea fishing, having a conversation with someone you’ve never met before, write a blog, present at a conference, or sign up for that course you’ve been promising to do for ages. Then repeat and repeat and repeat, until it becomes your new habit.
Focus on the positives – Choose to see how change has shifted your perspective. Examine what positive experience the change has brought to your life. Look at what you have learnt, how you can make even greater changes to make the experience even better. What positives have you learnt about yourself that you weren’t previously aware of?
Acknowledge gratitude – Even when things don’t turn out how you would have liked, don’t view it as a failure. Find gratitude in what you have gained from the experience and give thanks for experiencing that change. It could be the people you have met, the lessons you have learnt, the skills it has brought you, the opportunities it opened up for you, the new, more desirable life it has brought you.
Getting peaceful with the present – this may at first seem odd to read this. We do need to visit the past to some degree, to recall our treasured memories and accomplishments etc. It’s nice to visit the future to keep our eyes on our desired destination. Having said this, we shouldn’t get too hung up on our future destination for fear of losing site of the journey we are experiencing on the way to our destination. By getting peaceful with the present, you just might see a more agreeable, authentic destination than the one you may have already designed for yourself.
Change your routine – routines can be great as they help to organise your day, especially when your life is extraordinarily busy. The problem with living a life filled with routine it can become soulless and predictable, devoid of opportunity to experience the new, the different and the joyful. So mix it up a bit, this encourages your brain to make new connections and form new habits, making you ultimately more adaptable and comfortable with change, uncertainty and the unknown.
Practice letting go – Let go of self-doubt, fear, and trying to predict the future and open your heart to the freedom of the unknown. If you find this difficult, ask yourself; how well have these first three masters served me in the past? Chances are they’ve controlled you, forced you into a corner of predictability, caused you stress and anxiety and created limitations. Remember fear and self-doubt are conscious choices you make. These choices are discouraging and limiting choices. Abraham Lincoln uttered these wise words “Let no feeling of discouragement prey upon you, and in the end you are sure to succeed”.
If you choose to live peacefully with uncertainty and the unknown, I wish you well and all the freedoms that it has to offer.
Call to action: I would love to hear your feedback on this blog post, or you may have experienced positivity in the face of uncertainty. Maybe you have tips or stories you’d like to share about how to live peacefully with the unknown. Please like and RT this article on Twitter @asteriaLifeC.
Keep the faith!
If you want to discover your star potential and think I may be able to help you, then please call me 07752565740
Are You Ready for a Complimentary Coaching Consultation?
See how coaching can benefit you!
Make 2018 your year
I am about to complete my training to be a world class Life Coach at The Pure Coaching Academy in London, and I am really excited to combine these new skills with my extensive experience in academic excellence, personal development and well-being.
If you’re not sure how a life coach can support you and would like to know more, I invite you to consider these questions. If any of this sounds like you and you feel you are ready for a change, then I can help support you in overcoming these challenges and transforming your life for the better.
• Feeling stressed? Is the ticking clock conspiring against you?
• Debt spiralling out of control and dimming your dreams?
• Learning to study and write again, is so difficult?
• Burning the midnight oil, and still not getting the grades?
• Away from home - Homesickness – university just isn’t turning out the way you expected?
• Kids flown the nest? Feel now it's your time! Want to return to study, or something else?
• Motivation? What motivation? I’m too tired!
• Everyone wants a piece of you, and there’s no time for your needs?
• Junk food and takeaways, no time to prepare healthy meals anymore?
• Struggling with weight loss, everything you’ve tried so far hasn’t worked?
• Life just doesn’t seem to offer you much joy these days?
• Bored with your current career, and want to re-train for a new one?
• Life is passing you by, and you want a piece of the action?
• You have a big, bold dream, but just don’t know where to begin?
As a life coach who has been a returning university student, I completely understand the difficulties of learning to study again, dealing with the added workload and still trying to keep a million and one other balls in the air in your personal life. If you are considering retraining and returning to education, currently studying at college or university, or finishing university and not sure what’s the next step for you to take, then I’m here to support you in meeting those goals with excellence and ease.
I would therefore love you to accept my amazing gift of life coaching, at a hugely reduced price of £55 an hour.
So if you feel you are ready to make some really positive changes to your life, and discover your star potential, then direct message me on Facebook or visit my contact page. We can then arrange a complimentary 30 minute coaching session, either by phone, Skype or Zoom to see how life coaching can help you re-launch your lust for life, supercharge your success, and make 2018 the best year of your life to date.
Asteria Life Coaching
Twitter : @AsterialifeC