We all know the importance of learning the teachable skills that can be defined and measured, which we commonly refer to as hard skills. However, it’s fair to say that the soft skills are an equally important skill to demonstrate if you want to impress your future employers and land that dream job. In this blog you will learn what soft skills are, and what soft skills employers value. Also some interview questions and techniques for answering competency questions, and how you can develop and demonstrate those amazing soft skills in interview. 

During the job application and interview process employers will be looking for two valuable skill sets: these are hard skills and soft skills. Employers need both of these skills sets because they need to know that you have the necessary practical application to do the job, but also research suggests the importance of soft skills can be just as valuable as an indicator of job performance as hard skills.

The problem is if you are a young adult from the Y-Z generation (post-internet) entering into the labour force, it has become increasingly clear that the soft-skills gap has become wider, and you may need greater support than more mature candidates in acquiring these skills. Employers simply don’t have the time to teach, nor manpower to develop the soft skills required in the workplace. So if you’ve not attended an interview before, or for some time, then here are few things you need to be aware of.

Defining hard skills
Hard skills are a technical skill taught from pre-school age and are not interpersonal. They are specific and teachable abilities that are measurable and tangible. Here are some examples;
• Proficiency with software applications
• Accountancy
• Mathematics
• Foreign languages
• Operating machinery
• Data analysis
• Computer languages
• Cataloguing and indexing
• Graphic design
• Marketing

Defining soft skills
Soft skills (non-technical skills) are not so tangible and easy to measure, and by definition are much harder to quantify. You may have heard them described as ‘People skills’, and the reason these skills are not taught at school is because they are so difficult to quantify and measure. ‘Soft skills’ refer to a cluster of personal qualities, habits, attitudes and social graces that make someone a good employee and compatible to work with,” outlines Kate Lorenz, author of Top 10 Soft Skills for Job Hunters. Here are some examples of soft skills;

• Communication skills
• Interpersonal skills
• Problem-solving and decision making skills
• Organisational skills
• Work ethic and attitude
• Time management
• Teamwork
• Responsibility
• Creativity
• Conflict management
• Emotional Intelligence
• Self-awareness
• Adaptability, versatility and flexibility

Competency based questioning 
The most common way of assessing these soft skills is through competency based questioning (situational questioning) which are from real life situations. A good interviewer will explain this process and go through their reasons with you as to why they are asking these questions. Essentially the aim of this line of questioning is to find out how you have used these skills in your previous experience, which, in turn assesses how you approach problems, tasks and challenges.

What questions might I be asked?

To know this you will need to think about the post you are interested in applying for. For instance if you are interested in a post that may have a high degree of pressure and strict deadlines, then you will probably be asked when you have worked to a deadline and asked to explain how you managed your time. So make a list of competencies that you think are important for the post, and also look at the skills and attributes required. This will help you to decide what competency questions may be asked in interview. By doing this you can prepare your answers and improve your interview performance.

Common competency questions asked in interview
• Tell us about a time you had to adjust your communication approach to suit a particular audience. (Communication skills)
• Describe a situation in which you were working as part of a team. How did you make a contribution? (Teamwork)
• A time when you delivered excellent customer service (Customer Service)
• A time when you had to meet a deadline, what you were required to do, and what was the outcome? (Organisational skills, time management, decision-making)
• Tell us about a time you supported a member of your team who was struggling? (Empathy/ emotional intelligence)
• Tell us about a time in which you had to take an alternative approach to solving a problem. How did you develop this new approach? What challenges did you face and how did you address them? (Creativity)

A good approach to use when answering these questions is the STAR approach.

Situation: set the scene and describe the situation
Task: explain the specific task you were required to undertake 
Action: tell the interviewer what action you had to take, and explain why
Result: finish by telling them the result of your actions and how it benefits the company

Role Playing and Mock Interviews
A good way to prepare for a job interview is to do a mock interview before the big day. You could use an experienced friend to help you with this, or you can conduct your own mock interview. If you have a video camera, a camera on your mobile, or a webcam on your computer, then you already have the necessary toolkit to do this. You can be your own interviewer if necessary – read the questions out to yourself before answering them on camera.

So now you know a little more about the interview process, the difference between hard and soft skills, the questions that may be asked in interview and how to anticipate those questions to make you an interview superstar.

Good luck!
I wish you every success in your career.
Julia

I would love to hear your feedback on this blog. Perhaps you have some experience yourself of interviews that you’d like to share. Please like and retweet this article on Twitter @AsterlifeC
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If you want to discover your star potential and think I may be able to help you, then please call me 07752565740 or email me at info@asterialifecoaching.co.uk to arrange 1:1 coaching sessions.

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The New Year is a time for renewal, taking stock and considering options for the forthcoming year. This may be the time you are considering investing in yourself for either personal or professional development, reskilling or just dipping your toe back into the education pool for personal enjoyment. This article will highlight some of the challenges or concerns you may have about returning back to education as a mature student, or returning student as I like to call you, and show you how to get the most out of education, dispelling any concerns or fears that you may currently hold.  

The great news is, if you are considering returning back to education at either college or university, then you are in for one of the most rewarding experiences of your life. Apart from that this is probably the best ever time of the year for you to do so. Returning back as a mature student is particularly rewarding, not only because it gives you a qualification that helps to enrich your life both economically and socially, but also because it instils a sense of empowerment and achievement, which benefits your confidence and self-esteem. I too, like so many others, felt anxious and unsure when I returned to education to do my NVQ in Library Services, and then again when I went on to university to study my MA. I can’t promise it won’t challenge and stretch you beyond what you thought was possible, that’s actually part of the journey and the learning process, but what I can say is what you receive from education is far more than just subject knowledge and a qualification.

However, returning back to study does not come without its challenges, predominantly around finance and academic skills. So below I have highlighted six of the most common statements which may otherwise delay your decision to return to college or university. 

Statement 1: I can't afford it
There is no denying it that financing education, particularly in the HE sector is a significant, and a very costly consideration. In fact financing education is cited by Adult Learner Survey, (2016) as above and beyond the main cause for not returning into Further and Higher Education for mature, returning students. However, if you are disabled, have dependent children or a low income, then you may be eligible to apply for Student Finance that helps with tuition fees and living costs. 

If you want to study for a different sort of qualification (such as NVQ or BTEC) then you may be eligible for grants and bursaries adult learners. You will find that particular universities and departments also offer bursaries depending on the degree and subject area you are interested in. If you wish to find out more about this, you should contact Admissions at the university you are thinking of applying to. 

If you have children there is also funding that help pay for childcare costs. Perhaps you are going into full-time education? If this is the case then you may be eligible to apply for a Childcare Grant. However, it is important to review these sites and check the conditions for eligibility and also conditions for non-eligibility before applying. 

Finally, It’s worth noting, if you are over 25 years old, married, or have supported yourself for at least three years before you start studying, the Government consider you as an independent student and parental income will not be taken into account.

Statement 2: I never enjoyed school or studying the first time 
If this was you, you are not alone. Cast your mind back to when you went to college or university the first time around.  Did you have a burning desire to choose a particular course or was it something you sort of fell into or were pushed into? Believe it or not, this is how many choose their course the first time around. They then become disenchanted with it because they never really had the chance to explore and find out what they really want to do. So it should be no surprise to hear that many just get through their courses or drop-out after the first year or two. 

It’s often much more rewarding to return back to education after finding our passion. One of the advantages of returning back to college or university later in life, is that you have a much greater sense of purpose, focus, responsibility and self. This time around you are wiser. You have better cognitive and problem-solving skills. You are more emotionally stable, and you have learnt more about yourself and what it is that makes you happy, motivated and fulfilled.  These are all gifts that life bestows on us over time, but they are also are the gifts that will bring you the motivation you need to succeed.

Statement 3: I can't write essays or reports
One of the biggest hurdles to overcome for returning students is the fear of writing assessed essays, reports and taking part in exams. This is most certainly a confidence issue, as it may have been many years past that you have had your work critiqued by others in this way. So let me put your mind at rest by saying that colleges and universities have your best interests at heart. They want you to succeed just as much as you do.  Today every college and university offers services to support your academic study and literacy skills, while you are studying. Many of the universities are starting to offer Summer Schools for mature students.  They run for about 3-5 days, are open to all ages, abilities and backgrounds, and they help you to brush-up on your academic skills. Many will teach you; 
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• Academic writing 
• Critical thinking skills
• Referencing skills
• Notetaking 
• Time management 

​However most universities need some assurances before you apply to attend:
​
• you will have applied for a full-time undergraduate course at the University 
• you have made the University your choice in the UCAS application process
• you have been given a 'conditional' or 'unconditional' offer of a place

​You should understand though, most universities stipulate, that the attendance of Summer School does not affect your UCAS application, nor does it guarantee entry in the next academic year.

Statement 4: My computer skills aren’t up to date
It’s true that much of the work carried out for your degrees writing and research is done by the use of computers and online database research these days. Having said this, if you are concerned that your skills are not what they should be, then there are ways to upskill prior to attending college or university;

• Look out for many of the beginner or intermediate computer skills day and evening classes
• Sign-up with Lynda.com – subscribed online video courses, taught by experts, that help you to learn business, software, technology and creative skills – check with your university beforehand to see if they subscribe to it. If they do you could access it for free while you’re studying.

If you are worried about your computer skills around research, and using the databases, then I would encourage you to spend some time in your academic library and book into one or two of the library research skills workshops that most academic libraries run. In no time at all you’ll be accessing resources and compiling research strategies like a pro.

Statement 5: I won't fit in 
When you become a graduate for the first time, it’s very easy to assume that your teenage classmates live in an entirely different world to you, and this will be a barrier to communicating with them, leaving you feeling isolated. Nothing could actually be further from the truth! The mature student population is a richly diverse and integral part of the student community. I can say with first-hand experience, that our life, career, and worldly experiences provide a fresh perspective and rich source of knowledge, our younger counterparts are only too aware and respectful of. They understand that your wisdom and experience is an asset and additional enrichment, which offers considerable value to their learning experience.  Think of studying with younger people as a symbiotic relationship, whereby you have the opportunity to learn from each other. By changing your perspective you will soon realise that talents and knowledge work both ways and can be passed on to enhance each other’s learning. So everybody wins!

Statement 6: I won’t get the support I need from my family and friends
It’s not uncommon when returning back to formal education as a mature student to encounter some resistance from family members by them disapproving of your decision to go to university. Initially this can be quite dispiriting. Yes it has its financial risks, but these risks are calculated, if you’ve done your homework.  What is less obvious is that often family or relationship dynamics will go through a period of re-adjustment and re-negotiation of roles while studying. This may possibly leave partners feeling threatened or even isolated through this time of adjustment. The important thing to remember is, you will know the reasons why you chose to do a university course and the decision to do so will not have been taken lightly. So don’t let anyone quash your dreams and ambitions. I would encourage you to;

• Explain the benefits of returning to university to them
• Involve and reassure close family members and partners in the process as much as you can
• Involve them in your work by asking them to proof-read your assignments
• Let friends know when you are free to spend some time with them
• Arrange a family day from time to time or go for meal with your partner

So you have now learnt a little more about returning back as a mature student and understood how you can address those niggling concerns you might be having right now. So all there is left to say is that I wish you every success with returning back as a mature student.

Here’s to you and your success!

Julia

I would love to hear your feedback on this blog. Perhaps you have some experience yourself of being a mature student that you’d like to share. Please like and retweet this article on Twitter @AsterlifeC
​
If you want to discover your star potential and think I may be able to help you, then please call me 07752565740 or email me at info@asterialifecoaching.co.uk to arrange 1:1 coaching sessions.

If you could only live an unpredictable life filled with uncertainty how would you instinctively feel? Does it bring excitement and wonder? Do you think of the endless possibilities and opportunities there would be for creativity and learning? Or does it make you feel uncomfortable, or even conjures up automatic thoughts of fear and anxiety?

If you think the latter is more your current lean to thinking, then this article is a MUST READ for you. In it you will discover the advantages to living with the unknown, how to find peace with living in the present and why you need to let go of continually trying to control your future. 
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Most of us go to great efforts to bring control into our lives. We can’t bear the thought of living with unpredictable futures. We spend much of our time reliving past hurts and working out the possible outcomes of our future. We avoid even the thought of experiencing any possible pain, suffering or loss that uncertainty may bring. 

The disadvantages to living a life of control 
When we try to control every element of our lives, life becomes;
• Predictable
• Routine
• Unimaginative and uncreative
• Fear filled and cautionary
• Restrictive
• Exhausting
• Stressful and negative
• Ordinary and non-progressive

Here’s some examples of how we limit our lives because of fear of the unknown; 
Missing out on an amazing adventure holiday abroad for fear of contracting some disease, or being unfamiliar with the country and not being able to predict what may or may not happen there.

Staying in a job that you really can’t stand, because it pays well and if you can stay there long enough you should get a comfortable pension.

Putting off returning to study for fear of failure and wasting your time and money.

Why we feel the need for control and avoid the unknown
In order to let go of control we need to understand why we feel the need to control our lives. Largely this is born out of fear of change or loss. When change happens, feelings of vulnerability and uncertainty often follows. We then feel we are risking our security and comfort. Negative self-talk kicks in telling us we are likely to experience something that could cause us pain. So the question we should be asking ourselves here is, how do we get used to coping with change? How do we make change comfortable, and not painful to live with, so we no longer fear it, and learn to accept it?

Newsflash! Change is inevitable! When we live in our comfort zone, risk and pain is still a probability. The problem is that if we don’t learn to experience it and get comfortable with it, we are far less resilient to change when its forced upon us, which makes for a more painful transition back into our comfort zone.

Living with uncertainty
The best option we have to protect our self from pain is to learn to live with change and uncertainty. When we choose to live a little more with the unknown and stop trying to control every last little outcome, that’s when the pain and negativity dissolves and the magic happens! We allow ourselves to experience life in the present. We become more aware, creative and imaginative, more courageous, adventurous, alive and open to new experiences. We feel excitement and anticipation for the limitless possibilities and outcomes it may bring. We feel an excited anticipation for the future. Life becomes more fulfilling and rewarding. Old self-sabotaging habits diminish, and we replace them with new, more optimistic habits.

The advantages of living with the unknown
• Opportunities to learn
• Limitless possibilities
• Freedom 
• Adaptability
• Positivity 
• Challenge and achievement
• Creativity
• Wealth and reward

Start getting comfortable with change and uncertainty
I’ve put together some tips that you could try in order to bring a little change and uncertainty into your life, so that you can start to get comfortable with the unknown, and start living a more rewarding and extraordinary life.

Try something you’ve never done before – something small, that’s still safe to you, but at the same time brings you out of your comfort zone. Perhaps painting, deep sea fishing, having a conversation with someone you’ve never met before, write a blog,  present at a conference, or sign up for that course you’ve been promising to do for ages. Then repeat and repeat and repeat, until it becomes your new habit.

Focus on the positives – Choose to see how change has shifted your perspective. Examine what positive experience the change has brought to your life. Look at what you have learnt, how you can make even greater changes to make the experience even better. What positives have you learnt about yourself that you weren’t previously aware of?

Acknowledge gratitude – Even when things don’t turn out how you would have liked, don’t view it as a failure. Find gratitude in what you have gained from the experience and give thanks for experiencing that change. It could be the people you have met, the lessons you have learnt, the skills it has brought you, the opportunities it opened up for you, the new, more desirable life it has brought you.

Getting peaceful with the present – this may at first seem odd to read this. We do need to visit the past to some degree, to recall our treasured memories and accomplishments etc. It’s nice to visit the future to keep our eyes on our desired destination. Having said this, we shouldn’t get too hung up on our future destination for fear of losing site of the journey we are experiencing on the way to our destination. By getting peaceful with the present, you just might see a more agreeable, authentic destination than the one you may have already designed for yourself. 

Change your routine – routines can be great as they help to organise your day, especially when your life is extraordinarily busy. The problem with living a life filled with routine it can become soulless and predictable, devoid of opportunity to experience the new, the different and the joyful. So mix it up a bit, this encourages your brain to make new connections and form new habits, making you ultimately more adaptable and comfortable with change, uncertainty and the unknown.

Practice letting go – Let go of self-doubt, fear, and trying to predict the future and open your heart to the freedom of the unknown. If you find this difficult, ask yourself; how well have these first three masters served me in the past? Chances are they’ve controlled you, forced you into a corner of predictability, caused you stress and anxiety and created limitations. Remember fear and self-doubt are conscious choices you make. These choices are discouraging and limiting choices. Abraham Lincoln uttered these wise words “Let no feeling of discouragement prey upon you, and in the end you are sure to succeed”. 

If you choose to live peacefully with uncertainty and the unknown, I wish you well and all the freedoms that it has to offer. 

Call to action: I would love to hear your feedback on this blog post, or you may have experienced positivity in the face of uncertainty. Maybe you have tips or stories you’d like to share about how to live peacefully with the unknown. Please like and RT this article on Twitter @asteriaLifeC.

Keep the faith!
​
Julia

​I am about to complete my training to be a world class Life Coach at The Pure Coaching Academy in London, and I am really excited to combine these new skills with my extensive experience in academic excellence, personal development and well-being. 

If you’re not sure how a life coach can support you and would like to know more, I invite you to consider these questions. If any of this sounds like you and you feel you are ready for a change, then I can help support you in overcoming these challenges and transforming your life for the better.

• Feeling stressed? Is the ticking clock conspiring against you?
• Debt spiralling out of control and dimming your dreams?
• Learning to study and write again, is so difficult?
• Burning the midnight oil, and still not getting the grades?
• Away from home - Homesickness – university just isn’t turning out the way you expected?
• Kids flown the nest? Feel now it's your time! Want to return to study, or something else? 
• Motivation? What motivation? I’m too tired!
• Everyone wants a piece of you, and there’s no time for your needs?
• Junk food and takeaways, no time to prepare healthy meals anymore?
• Struggling with weight loss, everything you’ve tried so far hasn’t worked?
• Life just doesn’t seem to offer you much joy these days?
• Bored with your current career, and want to re-train for a new one?
• Life is passing you by, and you want a piece of the action?
• You have a big, bold dream, but just don’t know where to begin? 

As a life coach who has been a returning university student, I completely understand the difficulties of learning to study again, dealing with the added workload and still trying to keep a million and one other balls in the air in your personal life. If you are considering retraining and returning to education, currently studying at college or university, or finishing university and not sure what’s the next step for you to take, then I’m here to support you in meeting those goals with excellence and ease.

I would therefore love you to accept my amazing gift of life coaching, at a hugely reduced price of £55 an hour. 

So if you feel you are ready to make some really positive changes to your life, and discover your star potential, then direct message me on Facebook or visit my contact page. We can then arrange a complimentary 30 minute coaching session, either by phone, Skype or Zoom to see how life coaching can help you re-launch your lust for life, supercharge your success, and make 2018 the best year of your life to date.

Julia Bloxham

Asteria Life Coaching
www.asterialifecoaching.co.uk
07752565740
Twitter : @AsterialifeC
Instagram
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Do you love to try new things, and want to feel joy and happiness every day of the week? If you do, you’ll just love my ‘Joy Seeker 1 Week Challenge’. 

The Joy Seeker Challenge is a follow-up from my previous blog ‘Joy is yours for the taking everyday!’, where I explain a little about joy, what it feels like to experience it, and how you can feel it every day of your life. I thought now might be a good opportunity to transition from reading about it to you actually experiencing it for yourself every day, for just one week. 
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In preparation for this challenge I will highlight joy seekers characteristics, give you the low-down on the benefits to you becoming a joy seeker, and expand upon ways to experience and cultivate joy. Then you’ll be fully equipped with all the tools and knowledge you need to actively participate in my one week joy seeker challenge. 

Joy seeker characteristics
Joy seekers often go about their daily business, happily mingling throughout their communities, wafting happiness, optimism and generosity of spirit over you as they pass by. They exude positive energy. Joy seekers come in all shapes and sizes. They can have a calm, quiet, discerning manner about them, or they may be gregarious and enthusiastic. They are very likely to be dependable, determined, purposeful, spiritual and charitable. They are proactive in seeking out joy for themselves. Joy seekers live mindfully, are resilient and accepting of themselves. They prefer to spend more time concentrating on the present, rather than living regretfully in the past or anticipating what the future may or may not bring.
They have an abundance of self-awareness. They’re usually observant, and are not afraid to explore new experiences for themselves. They love to share their joy with others wherever and whenever they can. They prefer to bring sunshine into people’s lives, rather than dowsing you with rain. They find lessons to be learnt and opportunities to be gained from unfortunate situations, rather than dwelling despairingly on their misfortune. You may well be one of these people yourself or may certainly be aware of people like this in your own life, as their presence is often highly visible.

Why become a joy seeker?
When you are open to receiving and sharing joy there are a significant number of benefits to you and your personal health and well-being, not to mention your productivity. 

1. One of the most significant factors is that joy can create a more positive outlook. A positive attitude often reduces that nagging, negative self-talk, that works hard to sabotage your joys, ideas, dreams and aspirations. 
2. A positive attitude helps us to manage stress and deal with those day-to-day small crises more effectively.
3. Joy has the power to revitalise and invigorate you, restoring your energy levels, and in turn creating greater clarity and fresh perspectives, helping you to be more creative.
4. New evidence in neuroscience is discovering that savouring positive emotions is actually a key component to psychological well-being.
5. It is well documented in science journals that positive emotions increases our physical health and well-being.
6. Scientific research indicates that sharing our positive experiences with a supportive listener, enhances our satisfaction with life, creates more optimism, and decreases negative attitudes such as anger, envy and materialism. 

Exercise your five senses

As you’re probably aware we have five different senses to perceive the world around us. These are; vision, smell, taste, sound and touch. In order to make the most of your joyful challenge week experiences, you will need to utilize all these senses. The most effective way of doing this is to be in a mindful, calm and present state. You can find lots of information online but these are the main attributes to a mindfulness life, which is a life full of joy.
o Take time and pay close attention to the environment around you
o Look for the little things, the everyday things, the ordinary moments in our lives
o Avoid focusing on anything negative (for this challenge)
o Acknowledge your appreciation for the moment 
o Be mindful of the senses that bring the joyful moment about
o Explore your emotion in detail – what emotions are you feeling – where do you feel it?
o Be non-judgemental about what emotions you are feeling, just acknowledge they are there
o Give the feelings a colour that will help intensify those joyous feelings and emotions 

The Joy Seeker 1 Week Challenge
To take part in the ‘Joy Seeker 1 Week Challenge’, email me at info@asterialifecoaching.co.uk requesting the free one week challenge template. Then complete the challenge sheet fully as you go through the week, and take photos, as this really does help to reflect on your joyful experiences, allowing you to relive it time and time again, whenever you desire.  Record at least one joy you’ve felt each day. You may experience more than one joy throughout your day. If you do that’s great!  You’ll probably find the more open you are to experiencing joy, the more self-aware you become, and the more opportunities arrive each day for experiencing joy. Alternatively, if you would prefer to add it to your daily journal entries, that’s fine too, but either way it would be great if you could email me at the above address, to let me know how you did or are doing with the challenge. I really would love to know what joys you experienced during the week. Remember to be as detailed as you can, as this brings colour and helps create a stronger memory of your joys, which in turn helps you to recall more easily that joyful feeling whenever you need a little lift in your day.

​Enjoy this joyful challenge.

I look forward to hearing back from you soon.
​
Julia

I would love to hear your feedback on this blog. If you’re not taking part in the 1 week challenge, perhaps you have a moment of pure joy you'd like to share?​

Hands up all those that want to feel joy any minute of the day, whenever or wherever you choose?

In this blog I’ll explain a little about joy, what it feels like to experience pure joy, and how you can feel it every day of your life.

No this isn’t some crazy gimmick, or inducement to buy into the next feel good gadget that will cost you a week’s wages. The truth is, joy is yours for the taking and you can feel it every day, whenever or wherever you are. Imagine that. Joy on tap! Now that really would be something worth celebrating and something worth showing gratitude for, wouldn’t it?

​Joy often comes unexpectedly into our lives. It can also be recalled by choice, as it evokes such intense emotions within us that the memory can last a lifetime, creating long term benefits for your physiological health and mental well-being. 

Joy has no time constraints. Joy never really leaves you. It can sometimes lay dormant, for days, weeks, months, even years, but when you knock on its door, it’s always there, waiting, ready to welcome you back with open arms. It’s not anyone’s to give, nor can it be taken away from you. It’s your joy, your precious place, which costs you nothing, but remains priceless.

Joy can also be shared with others. Researchers at the Utrecht University in the Netherlands have discovered that you can actually smell joy and happiness. Their research has revealed that humans can pick up whether a person is feeling joyful through their smell. Apparently this is a phenomenon known as chemo signalling. They explain that Chemo signals act as a sort of channel through which people can become 'emotionally synchronised', outside of their conscious awareness. Which means that when you experience an emotion, you can project that emotion onto others, not only in how you act or sound, but by the scent you radiate. This suggests, feeling joyous isn’t just an enjoyable experience for you, but it also has the power to be infectious, through your hearing, sight and sense of smell. So if you want to experience joy more often in your life, it’s important to keep positive, joyous people around you. 

No one can really tell you what your joy is.  It’s subjective. It’s like a fingerprint, it’s completely unique to you. What might be your joy, may not be another person’s joy. The best way I can describe joy is by telling you how it makes you feel.

So what does joy feel like?
Joy comes from your heart, and circulates throughout your whole body, so it’s full to overflowing. It can consume you. It has the power to relax, sooth or re-energises you. Your spirits are lifted, you feel great about yourself, possibly even euphoric. Joy isn’t necessarily just one emotion.  It's more often a collection of emotions that happen simultaneously. To feel a joy, you'll be aware of powerful emotions. Here’s just some of my favourite emotions; Love, elation, happiness, comfort, relaxation, delight, gratitude, relief, inspiration, enthusiasm, optimism, freedom, hope, power, enlightenment, self-worth, excitement, courage, awe, tranquility, contentment, serenity and harmony. 

How to receive joy into your daily life
To experience joy everyday requires self-awareness, a presence of mind. Being actively positive, and consciously aware of your emotions, your environment, even the people around you. You'll need to be willing to receive gratitude into your life, no matter how great or small it is.  Joy requires an open heart to receive it. Then acknowledge it and just let it in. 

You’ll know when you’ve found joy, in maybe a sudden smile that appears on your face, your eyes brighten, your heart feels fuller, and there’s an overwhelming sense of positive abundance within your entire body. You can receive joy in many ways, and it’s very often the little things that bring the greatest sense of irresistible joy.

Unexpected joy – requires no effort on your part for it to appear. Suddenly hey presto there it is! Your only conscious effort is that joy is in your heart and joy is your present state of mind. This could come from a kind word that you didn’t expect, or relief, gratitude and surprise that a situation you thought would be fraught, actually ended up friendly, good-natured and enjoyable. Maybe you listened to a sweet birdsong on your way to work? Perhaps like me, you hear a song come on the radio that just takes you back to a special place. Or the exhilaration, amazement and power of a sudden lightning storm flashing across the night sky. 

Recalling your past joy – Try to think back to a time you felt an overwhelming, and intense sense of joy. It could be watching the early morning sun rise. Hearing your baby giggle with delight. Or was it seeing them walk to you for the first time, as you encourage them to come to you? Possibly you walked past a scent, which immediately transported you back to a time in your childhood. A place where you felt security, warmth, innocence and pleasure. How about that challenge or exams you smashed, and those feelings of success, euphoria and sheer exhilaration? 

These are just some examples of what triggers our feelings of joy. So hold on to them, value, cherish and record them, either in your heart or document in a journal, detailing as much of the memory as you can. Think about where you were, who you were with, what time of day it was. Was it cool or warm? What scents surrounded you? Which emotions did you experience? 

If you can do this, then joy will be yours for the taking, not just in the moment, but time and time again, whenever and wherever you choose.  

Thank you for taking the time to read this blog. I wish you joy wherever you are, whatever you’re doing.

Julia

If you want to discover your star potential and think I may be able to help you, then please call me 07752565740
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​Having problems with adjusting to university life and feeling homesick can really spoil your first university experience. Turning it from being one of the most exciting are rewarding periods in your life, into something really quite scary and lonely.

In this article you will find ways you can adjust to university life, gain insight into how other students feel about being homesick. Learn the symptoms of homesickness, and find ways of dealing with the anxiety, homesickness or loneliness that you might be feeling right now, or in the months to follow.

Scenario; so here you are, you did all the hard work, got the grades, researched and found the course you want to be on, maybe went through clearing, and finally got into university. You’ve moved into halls or a shared house or flat, you’ve faced the Fresher’s Week hype and you’ve gone through the induction period. You’re ready to start your university course, meet new people, learn new things, and experience full on university life. Well done! That in itself is quite a big deal and something to be celebrated. Then suddenly all the excitement is over, your family have returned home, you’re around new people and everything seems unfamiliar and scary. You’re a little anxious, alone and starting to feel homesick, and university just isn’t what you thought it would be. Does this sound familiar?

The important thing to realise if you’re feeling this way, is that you’re not alone and it’s perfectly normal! The truth is, adjusting to student life and overcoming homesickness takes some longer than others. It’s all part of you experiencing independent living probably the first time ever, and stems from our instinctive need for love, protection and security. These thoughts and feelings will subside.  

​​​The symptoms of homesickness 
o Continually thinking of home
o Loneliness
o Anxiety 
o Stress
o Irritability
o A negative outlook
o Lack of concentration
o Decreased motivation
o Changes in appetite 
o Unhappiness and depression
o Crying
o Finding it difficult to cope
o Difficulty in sleeping

Research into students feeling homesick
A study conducted by YouthSight, released in 2013 on behalf of The Nightline Association (a student listening service), revealed that around a third of students feel some kind of homesickness or anxiety throughout their time at university. The research found 75% had personally experienced psychological distress whilst at university: 65% stress, 43% anxiety, loneliness, feelings of not being able to cope.  1/3 had feelings of depression or homesickness and 29% worried about not fitting in.  In fact, you’d probably be hard pressed in finding one student that said they were not aware of anyone feeling like this at some point, while at university.

Problems adjusting to university life?
It’s sometimes difficult experiencing new things, moving from your comfort zone where all your loved ones are around you, into a world that may feel quite alien. Not only are you new to university life, but probably for the first time ever you’re having to deal with things you’ve never had to concern yourself with before. Thinks like paying bills, budgeting, shopping, cooking, doing your own washing and cleaning, maybe even getting a job. You might not know your way around campus yet, and you may have found making friends difficult. All this and studying! The good news is that when we go through new experiences that are difficult to deal with, this is when we develop and grow, transitioning from child to adult.

Tips for getting used to University life and dealing with homesickness
I’ve put some advice together for you, so that you can start moving forward. Hopefully making homesickness and worries about fitting in, just a fleeting memory of your student experience.
  
Visit your Student Union – if you didn’t get chance to attend Fresher’s Week, drop in and see them as soon as you have time. They can get you acquainted with events, groups, doctors, dentists, internal services, transport, areas of interest, NUS student discount cards, promotions and a whole lot more.

Visit your academic library – introduce yourself to your subject Librarian or Information Specialist. They’re not just there to say shush in the quiet study area. Librarians are research specialists and can help you with your research needs, access online-resources and teach you how to evaluate websites. Most academic libraries have workshops and clinics for assignment writing and academic study skills. They can help you to find what you need quickly, so that you use your time effectively, saving you time and stress. 

Money management – It may seem great when your student loan comes into your bank account, but have you worked out the costs you’re going to face? Which university cited 10 things you’ll need remember to budget for. Look after the pennies and the pounds will look after themselves. Budget now!

Get a routine – If you’ve never really had a routine before, now is the time to start putting one in place. They’ll keep you on time, on track, and keep your landlord sweet. Spend an evening each term working out your study and lecture times, assignment writing days, chores, leisure, social activities, bill paying dates and if you’re in private accommodation, recycling and bin collection days!

Visit the university bar – This may seem a little counterproductive when studying, but when you think about it, you're likely to be going to go to a bar at some point, so why not the university bar? The drinks prices are greatly reduced, there’s always lots going on, there’s plenty of opportunities to meet new people and take part in things. This way you can make new friends, and it saves you money that you might be spending in the pricier in town pubs and clubs.  

Connect with your universities social media – By doing this you’ll be able to find out what’s going on at your university, connect with other fresher’s and lecturers. Find out about activities and events that interest you, and maybe even find yourself a student job.

Brush up on your culinary skills – Not only will this save you lots of money, but when word gets out you can cook a tasty meal, new friends will suddenly appear, as if by magic. Nice skill to impress with!

Feeling homesick?

Stay in touch – Remember family and friends are only a phone or Skype call away from you. So setup a time to call every couple of days. They can really pick you up, when you’re feeling low. Probably best to call in the evening when they’re back from work. Also it’s more likely that you’ll be feeling homesick in the evening, when no one's around you.

Talk to people about how you’re feeling – Chances are there’s a lot of Fresher’s feeling just the same way as you, maybe even your housemates. By getting out of your room and meeting people you’ll be able to speak to someone. Remember, a problem shared, is a problem halved!

Get plenty of sleep –  You may not have thought about the importance of sleep before, but sleep disorders can play havoc with your mental wellbeing, physical and mental performance, mood, behaviours, diet, cognitive skills, as well as a whole host of chronic health problems. In your teens and early 20s you need around 9 hours of good, solid sleep every night, to keep your body and brain functioning to its optimum. Try to find a few minutes to read my guide Sleep Easy: A guide to getting a good night's sleep. You’ll be sleeping peacefully in no time at all.

Healthy eating – Healthy eating can relieve you of negative thoughts and offer clear benefits to your mental wellbeing. Although research is in its infancy, there’s mounting evidence which suggests what we eat affects the function of our brains. See this article published by Community Food and Health (Scotland), ‘Food, mental health and wellbeing’. A word of advice though, speak to your GP before making any changes to your diet.

Get some exercise – All of us know how important it is for our physical and mental health to get regular exercise. It doesn’t have to be much just as long as it’s regular. Just some light, gentle exercise, nothing too extreme. Maybe a routine walk in the park, a bike ride, early morning swim, or 30 minutes in the gym every couple of days.

Give yourself something to look forward to – When you've something to look forward to, you often feel more motivated. It gives you a reason to do things, making life less boring and predictable. Make sure it’s something that you enjoy or excites you. 

Remind yourself of home – Bring things on your next visit from home that remind you of home. This could be family and friend photos for your bedside. Also comforters, you know what I mean, that over-loved teddy, or scruffy old favourite jumper, a favourite read. Smells from home are important too, so why not bring back some homemade food favourites back with you.

Give yourself a break – Yes taking regular breaks are important, but what I mean here is don’t be too hard on yourself. Remember this is a huge transition period for you, especially if you’ve been in a secure, supportive home life prior to coming to university. So try to relax a little and let things happen naturally. 

Confidential helplines – If you really don’t feel like speaking to friends and family, but still want someone to talk to that offers absolute confidentiality and anonymity. That will be non-judgemental, non-directional and non-advisory, there’s a service called Nightline.ac.uk. Nightline is a student listening service, which opens at night and is ran by trained students for students. Check if there’s a Nightline service at your university. They cover many UK universities, and are accessible via phone, email, Skype or text. Don’t forget you can also contact your student well-being office or your university counsellor.

You now have a few ideas of how to adjust to university life and understand why you may be feeling homesick and lonely, and some great tips to help you deal with it all.  Try to remember this is a transition from childhood to adulthood and is an important process for your personal development.  You’ll make friends in time, but don’t get too anxious about it, you have a busy year ahead of you.

The very best of luck to you!
Julia

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Every year for as long as I can remember, I’ve watched the London Marathon with the deepest of admiration for all those people running 26.2 miles (40K) for their personal charities, and thinking what a worthwhile goal to achieve. I make no apologies for admitting that running is not my thing. However, I love walking and really wanted a new personal challenge to take on. 

Whilst browsing the various challenges online I noticed Discover Adventure London Marathon Walk 2017. Perfect! So back in February I booked myself up for my first ever London Marathon Walk, which ran on Saturday 23rd September. 

As this was my first Marathon I didn’t really know what to expect. I’d never really tested my fitness nor my trainers to this level before. I wasn’t with a group, I was striking out on my own, I wasn’t sure what the weather would throw at me or how much sponsorship I would get. The fact is I could have worried about so many things and talked myself out of it a million times over. This really isn’t my style though.  I’m a great believer in ‘Feel the fear and do it anyway’ which enables me to turn my fears into my personal achievements and more often than not greatest successes.

Remaining positive gave me the opportunity stay fit and active, raise awareness and vital funds for my charity, as well as achieving a lifetime goal, with the prospect of making some new positive like-minded friends along the way. It's all to do with your perspective. The fear of the unknown was always going to lose badly when so much can be gained with an optimistic outlook.

On the day the weather was perfect for walking. I met up with two other amazing ladies (Susan and Sheila) before we started out, each of which were solo walkers and first-timers to the London Marathon. Susan navigated the course, Sheila was our official photographer and I was the pace setter. We completed the London Marathon in just over 9 hours. We were a great team on the day, dubbing ourselves ‘The Marathon Queens’. We raised around £3,500 for our personal charities between us, as well as becoming firm friends.  Yes we all had our own aches and pains to deal with from the day, which are temporary, but in a weird way the discomfort enables you to understand just a little of what our charities receivers go through every day of their lives. 
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I would like to extend a huge thank you to Discover Adventure for making the day so much fun, setting up such an interesting course and making sure we had plenty of water and snacks to keep our energy levels maintained.

Words of wisdom;
‘Erase your fears and your world becomes a limitless adventure’.

Here are some photos from the day, courtesy of Sheila.
Enjoy life!
Julia – Asteria Life Coaching

I would love to hear your feedback on this blog. Perhaps you have some experience yourself of running or walking a Marathon or tips that you’d like to share with me. Please like and retweet this article on Twitter @AsterlifeC

If you want to discover your star potential, meet your lifetime goals and think I may be able to help you, then please call me on 07752565740

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We are now well into September, the kids have returned back to school and the allotment still has plenty of wonderful produce to offer us. In light of this I thought I would give you a little update of what healthy fruit and veg is on my kitchen table this month.

As usual come September in West London there’s been plenty of opportunities to dance between the rain drops, but this hasn’t damped my allotment spirit, far from it. This is due to wonderful abundance of produce still available to us this time of year. I’m happy to report that we are still collecting a good amount of raspberry’s, apples, pears and grapes, so I won’t be going short on fruit this autumn and winter. The tomatoes, basil, spinach and beans are still going strong.

As we head towards autumn at break neck speed the new kids on my allotment block are the cauliflowers, sweetcorn, carrots, and chilli’s which again seem to be in plentiful supply. With all this glorious bounty I’m definitely feeling a kitchen cook-up of spicy Chilli Con Carne and a comforting Shepherd’s pie and cauliflower cheese. Yum!
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For the first time ever I’m doing the London Marathon Walk for charity next week, so look out for my blog on this. I’ll need all the nutrition my allotment can offer me, as I estimate a 9 hour walk from the start to the finish line.
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Here are few photo’s to celebrate all nature’s glorious bounty on the allotment at the moment, and I hope they will give you the inspiration you might need to get outdoors and try and grow a little produce for yourself.​

If you like this article on the allotment let me know by posting your comments below. Tell me the things you’d like to hear about and the articles you’ve enjoyed reading so far.

Happy September!
Julia
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Have you ever asked yourself why we love to fundraise, give to charity or volunteer our time? In this article you will learn why we love to give, why it’s so important to us and what personal health and wellbeing benefits it can bring to us.

According to the World Giving Index 2016 the UK is number one in Europe when it comes to generosity, with an average 63% of us having given help to a stranger, 69% donating to a charity and 33% spent our time volunteering. Ireland is the next most charitable in Europe with 56% helping a stranger, 66% donating money and 40% volunteering. This was closely followed by the Netherlands. On a global scale the most generous country on earth is Myanmar (Burma) for the last three years running. 63% gave help to a stranger, 91% donated money and 55% volunteered. Next giving nation globally is the United States, then Australia, New Zealand, Sri Lanka, Canada and Indonesia. So it’s very heart warming and uplifting to know that most of us around the world simply love giving or donating our time to help our fellow human beings in some capacity.

I was encouraged from a very early age to believe that helping others whenever or wherever I can was the right thing to do. When I was very young this was simply standing up on the bus, when less able were standing, so that they could have my seat. Later it was helping out at the bring-and-buy sales for charities.  I then read the book ‘A Christmas Carol’ by the great Charles Dickens. I still have his words ringing in my ears today when I first read the line as a child from Marley’s ghost when he said, “Business! Mankind was my business”. Suddenly it all made sense for me. This belief has become more profound as I’ve become older, and I stand firm in this belief today. I’ve now found ways of combining some of the things I love such as networking, allotments and walking to do volunteer work, donating and charity walks to raise vital funds for the charities I support. This got me thinking, why do we love to donate or give our time to support charities or even do good deeds, when we don’t have to? Is it simply enough for us to know that it’s the right thing to do, or is there something more psychological going on? Are we naturally altruistic? Or is something else?

What are the reasons we like to donate, fundraise or volunteer?
According to behavioural scientists the science why people give to charity falls into three categories, they are; Hearts over heads, influenced by others or a contagion.

Hearts over heads – a series of experiments published in The Journal of Risk and Uncertainty in 2003, discovered that people are more likely to respond to charitable requests for a single identifiable beneficiary than a large charitable organisation. This could be down to the fact that they are more identifiable and we can empathise more with the individual cases.

Influenced by others – the experiments also revealed that there could be a competitive edge to giving. JustGiving, the fundraising website observed that people donating to a fundraising page were influenced by the amount of money the previous person had donated and gave a higher donation. Celebrity endorsements seem to have a huge influencing factor for us as well, so this could be why charities like to publicise celebrities that support or become patrons of their charities, as they can be significant factor in their fundraising success.

Giving is infectious – When we see others give to charities, we are more likely to give ourselves. The urge is particularly noticeable when we are encouraged by a significant person in our lives. In three experiments, commissioned by the Cabinet Office for Social Action and conducted by the Behavioural Science Team found that habit is a key factor. The experiments revealed that if we’ve volunteered or fundraised before, statistically we are far more likely to do it again.

Why we volunteer - Bob Moore a volunteer co-ordinator sums it up best for me in his 2008 article ‘Why do people volunteer?’ , he explains that whatever the reason for volunteering, it always has a purpose, he then discusses a myriad of reasons, such as;
​
o   Altruism
o   We feel the need to give back
o   Personal experience with a problem, illness or cause
o   Looking to meet people
o   Sharing time with people that have the same interests as ourselves
o   Looking to learn new skills that they can use in their workplace
o   To keep old skills alive
o   Exploring possibilities for career changes
o   Workplace experience, or to find out the environment when considering change
o   Opportunities for employment
o   Looking to have fun
o   Do their civic duty
o   Achievement
o   Strengthen cv’s
o   Keep busy and active
o   Satisfaction and accomplishment
o   Feel better about ourselves
o   Take on a challenge for personal goals and development
o   To make life easier for others, and a better place for all to live in
o   Clandestine reasons - to see how things really work
o   Because they were asked!

So it seems that we all have our own personal reasons for volunteering, which probably explains why many of us also extend that to fundraising. So if you are looking to fundraise or want to encourage people to take part in charity work or a business wishing to recruit volunteers, you should consider factoring in these types of opportunities for the people you want to attract. This will probably ensure that you’re on to a winner in achieving your goals and becoming a great success.

Another consideration, not quite such an obvious perk to helping others, is the health benefits of helping others. Studies conducted by eminent psychologists reveal that donating our time or money is scientifically proven to;

o   Lengthen our lifespan
o   Create greater happiness
o   Aid pain management
o   Lower our blood pressure

Sara Konrath (PHD) has dubbed this affect as the ‘The Caring Cure’. Other academics and doctors have also revealed other benefits to the helper, such as;
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o   More positive behaviours in teenagers
o   Satisfaction and contentment
o   Enhancing individuals overall sense of purpose and identity
o   Raising self-confidence and self-esteem
o   Encourages friendships which reduces stress and illness

Now you know why we love to give our time or money to help others and the health benefits it can bring to the helper. If you have the time not only is volunteering an investment in others, but also in ourselves and our future happiness and wellbeing. So it might be worth considering if you want to introduce more happiness and purpose into your life to think about fundraising or volunteering as an option in your goal setting strategy.

I’ll be doing the London Marathon walk in September, with a bit of luck I might just see you there! If you want to Donate now to my JustGiving page, I would be extremely grateful.
Happy giving, fundraising and volunteering!

Julia

I would love to hear your feedback on this blog. Perhaps you have some experience yourself on fundraising and volunteering you’d like to share with me. Please like and retweet this article on Twitter @AsterlifeC
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If you want to discover your star potential and think I may be able to help you, then please call me 07752565740